Random Thoughts

• Mundane things stick out to me when I read certain books. Like, how is it that people are so well rested when the world is falling apart? I can't tell you how many times I've read books where the hero is attacked by demons/zombies/etc., and half their group is wiped out-- and what do they do? They fall into an exhausted sleep at the end of the day. Really!? I'm pretty sure the last thing I'd be able to in those circumstances is sleep. And how many times do people fall asleep in the arms of a friend/lover after a traumatic experience? Does that really happen? I don't know about you, but I can't sleep if my husband even thinks about touching me with his foot-- I am not a cuddly sleeper. 
• Dystopian fiction seems to be the new black. I currently have several books based on a not-so-distant future after our current economic collapse goes demonic and/or zombie infested. Fun stuff. It's not surprising that entertainment would be inspired our current economic climate to get ideas-- I'd think it's strange if it didn't. But it's really odd to see reality shows featuring super-wealthy housewives in contrast with shows like "Falling Skies" and "The Walking Dead." I don't know about you-- but I don't care about a bunch of spoiled housewives. I'll take the zombies. 
• Religion also seems to be on everyone's mind these days. Angels and demons everywhere! I need to read more of these books to get a handle on where people are going with this topic, but one thing I'm really interested in is how people would react if they definitively knew what their options were after death. So much of our lives are spent wondering what might happen -- but what would we do if we didn't have to wonder?  What kind of bargaining do you supposed people would do if they knew God was real? I feel some inspiration coming on and some writing in my future...
• I just read a very charming book set in a small town full of quirky characters. Why don't I ever live in cute little towns like that? I never get the neighbor who feels my head bumps to determine my personality. Though I do frequently get the nosy neighbor-- so there is that. The closest thing I have ever gotten to this in my real life is when my mother-in-law spent a year as a Wiccan. I do have an online friend who is in the roller derby-- and that is way cool. But I fear my immediate neighbors will never be this adventurous. I'd do the roller derby myself if I could, but I'm too breakable these days. Is there a formula for coming up with a roller derby name?-- Because I'd like to at least have the name. (I have the best porn name ever-- Bambi Royall)
• I never thought a kids' show would have me plotting revenge against my kids. But after waking up to Full House every morning for months, I need a way to get even for suffering through such ghastly preciousness. This show has not aged well and if I have to sit thorough one more "special" episode I am going to lose it. I've tried showing pictures of the grown-up Olson twins in their bag-lady outfits in an attempt to convince my kids they're no longer cute, but it's not working. 
• In the theater of the absurd I think I like intelligent cartoons animals best. I would really love to have a cat that could laugh like Sebastian from "Josie and the Pussycats" or a dog that says "rut roh" like Scooby Doo. I would like to have a conversation with Foghorn Leghorn, be outsmarted by Bugs Bunny and even have Daffy Duck spit on me. I want to spar with a kung fu panda and have a St. Bernard bring me brandy in a barrel. I do not, however, want a rat to cook my dinner. 

Random Thoughts...

• Okay. I'm going to go ahead and say it. What the heck was Arnold Schwarzenegger thinking? I know it's not uncommon for famous men to cheat-- and even have kids out of wedlock. But the housekeeper? No one is shocked that Arnie was a scumbag. I think we're all just a little shocked he has such bad taste. Damn. 
• So, it's late Sunday and it appears that the Rapture didn't occur on Saturday. Which is awesome because "Game of Thrones" is on tonight. 
• Speaking of "Game of Thrones...." I always watch shows like that and wonder if that much nudity is a good stepping stone in an acting career. What do the auditions look like when they try to get their next role?  See, I'm really good at doing on-camera sex faces. You'll really think I'm doing the nasty! Oh, the part is for a schoolteacher? Is it a nasty schoolteacher? 
• I'm not really interested in seeing the latest "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. I've already seen about 8 hours worth of Johnny Depp doing his swishy Keith Richards impersonation, so I think I've got the premise. I don't know that adding mermaids is going to make it seem like a whole new experience. 
• When I see the term "geek chic" I wonder who actually thinks it's fashionable to be geeky. Are there really people out there trying to dress like Bill Gates? Or are we talking about pseudo geeks who think they're being edgy by wearing plastic eyeglass frames and striped scarves? Because no one I know thinks I'm particularly chic, nor are they rushing to throw up a sci-fi blog. 
• Does anyone really learn a foreign language by listening to it on your MP3 player? I lived in Japan for four months (with a Japanese family!) and I'm pretty sure they were talking about me the whole time-- but who can for sure because I barely understood a word they said even after two years of language courses. My language skills were obviously not that good but I seriously doubt listening to the whole Rosetta Stone library would have made me more fluent than I was. 
• I love watching cooking shows and often think that it would be really awesome to be a guest judge on Iron Chef. But with my luck I'd be there on the night that brussel sprouts was the featured ingredient. 
• Is there a more quotable movie than The Jerk? My husband just turned it on and I'm having a really hard time writing this because I keep stopping to hear what Steve Martin is going to say next. So I'm going to leave you with a few quotes:

Navin R. Johnson: Huh? I am *not* a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi...

Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
Navin R. Johnson: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?

[a sniper keeps missing Navin and hitting cans of motor oil]
Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!

Navin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

[Stan Fox's eyeglasses keep slipping off]
Stan Fox: Damn these glasses son.
Navin R. Johnson: Yes, sir.
[to the glasses]
Navin R. Johnson: I damn thee.

Navin R. Johnson: You have great skin. Are you a model?
Marie: No. I'm a Cosmetologist.
Navin R. Johnson: A Cosmetologist? Really? Wow. Must be tough to handle the weightlessness.

Random Thoughts...

• Who started the whole endless series thing? Was it Robert Jordan? I only ask because I can't figure out how people stick with a series that long. I think I read the first eight books of "The Wheel of Time" series before I finally thought is this ever going to end? Now I'm so far out-of-the-loop as far as the story goes that I'd have to start all over and I don't know if I care enough about it to do that. And that goes for pretty much any series that goes beyond five books. How do the rest of you do it? Do you take notes? 
• So it was just announced that some unknown guy has been cast as the new Superman. Phew! I was afraid that the other unknown guy who was cast to be Spiderman was going to be the only emo, slightly feminine superhero out there. Actually I'm kidding. I'm sure they're both very manly. But it must be hard to celebrate being cast in the bazillionth reboot of their respective franchises. How many confused looks they must get when they say "I'm the new...." People must say didn't they already do that? an awful lot.
• It's official. The Academy Awards are completely irrelevant. Christopher Nolan did not receive a nomination for "Inception;" as egregious an omission as "The Dark Knight" in my humble opinion. I've read on some entertainment sites that Nolan was not nominated because he isn't cozy with the right people in Hollywood. There is also, so I hear, quite a bit of jealousy regarding the freedom he has to do his own work. Which just goes to show-- no matter how rich and successful you become, you're still going to have to deal with the same cliques you did in high school. 
• Speaking of cliques... I've noticed that the feed on my Facebook page flows in two distinct directions. One is all about sci-fi/fantasy related stuff and the other has a lot of stats about sports teams that I know nothing about. I feel like a geek who has been allowed to sit at the 'cool' table for lunch-- only to wish I could return to the geek table. 
• I finally got an eReader for Christmas-- but I'm not sure how good this is for me. It's waaaay too convenient. The instant gratification of getting a book immediately is scary for me and my wallet. Which is the point as far as the booksellers go-- I'm sure. I barely get into my newest book before I'm surfing the net looking for the next one. Oh well. At least I'm freeing up some shelf space. Gotta look on the bright side. 
• I'm trying to think of another "thought" or two to put on the list here, but I keep getting distracted by a ridiculous set of commercials that keep running on the television right now. I have "National Treasure" on the television right now (there is nothing on television tonight) and they've got some bizarre "celebrity treasure hunt" tie-in going on. Seriously? How desperate to be on television to you have to be to do this stuff? What a life. Can you imagine if your job description was "reality television star?" I think I'd rather flip burgers at McDonald's. I'm almost embarrassed for these people. 
• Yep. Now my mind is a blank. After those commercials and the subsequent ads for "Celebrity Apprentice" my brain is scrambled. This is your brain on reality-tv...

Random Thoughts...

• Whenever I read a blog I like, I want to be just like that blogger. One will have me muttering funnier, I need to be funnier..while another will have me saying dang it! I don't have enough excerpts in my reviews. Or quotes! I need quotes! Then I start feeling super inadequate and the only thing that makes me feel better is to go into my spare room, pet the books I've been sent to review and tell myself they think I'm pretty. 
• Whenever I read a book by someone like Anne McCaffrey or Mercedes Lackey, I stare at my cat and wish she could speak to me telepathically. When she's perched on the back of the couch I get eye-level with her and stare at her until she gets super uncomfortable. Sometimes she purrs at the crazy lady but usually she just gets up and runs under the bed. 
• I'm never fully satisfied with anything I post. Mostly I'm convinced my writing sucks (hence the need to reassure myself by petting my review copies). Whenever I read over a published post that has typos in it, I click the 'edit post' pencil thingy at the bottom of the post like it's a speed-dial button and try to get that sucker before anyone reads it. If someone posts a comment before I'm finished tweaking, I'm horrified that they saw my gawd-awful writing. And that's always the case because I never stop tweaking. There's an excellent chance that any reviews that have been quoted on/in someone's book may not actually match what's on my blog page. I'm like: tweak, tweak, tweak, check the page, tweak, tweak, tweak, tweak, pause, tweak, check the page again, tweak, tweak, tweak....tweak.  I give the word "tweaker" a whole new meaning. 
• I love people who throw pop-culture references in their blog posts. Most reviewers don't do this because it doesn't seem cultured enough-- or something like that. Which is why I'm drawn to funny blogs who throw down with references to old-school "Karate Kid" (wax on wax off) or remind me that they have pity for the fool who doesn't read their blog and no one puts them in the corner. Throw in some Maverick and Goose and a skinny Val Kilmer I'm in love. Add some Punky Brewster and Alf (a-spar-a-gus, a-spar-a-gus...) and I'm heaven. 
• So, it seems I'm not going to be picked to be an extra on "The Walking Dead." Which sucks because I really want to dress up like a zombie and do the "Thriller" hands. Guess I need to start planning next year's Halloween costume...
• These posts are alternatively fun and scary for me. There's a part of me that still wants to be taken seriously as a reviewer-blogger and I know that telling people that I eyeball my cat in hopes of sudden telepathic speech is not generally a good plan to accomplish that. But then I remember that I've been around for four freaking years and if no one is taking me seriously by now, then I should probably just get a grip and have fun. People are either going to get me or flee the blog in horror. Guess I'll find out soon...
• 'Awesome' is my new favorite word. Nothing encapsulates how 'awesome' something is other than the word 'awesome.' 'Cool' suggests something is better than average but not really that high on the 'awesome' scale. While 'radical' has some charm, I'm pretty sure it isn't really being used by the cool-kids and I like the street cred "Chuck" brought back to the word 'awesome' by introducing Captain Awesome to the world. That was awesome of them don't you think?
• I'd like to have that crazy/brilliant thing going for me that Walter Bishop of "Fringe" has going on. I know, I know, when he has conversations like this:
  Dr. Walter Bishop: I just pissed myself
  Peter Bishop: Excellent.
  Dr. Walter Bishop: Just a squirt.
  There is actually a team of writers behind such brilliance. But how awesome would it be to be able to say anything that crosses your mind, no matter how inappropriate, and people just say oh, you know SQT. She's soooo smart that she doesn't think like the rest of us. 
  

Random Thoughts...

• Leslie Nielsen passed away yesterday and I'm too bummed to make any Shirley jokes. My parents always told me he was a great dramatic actor, and I'm reading a lot comments referencing "Forbidden Planet," but he'll always be Dr. Rumack from "Airplane" to me.
• It was announced today that Anne Hathaway and James Franco are going to be the hosts of the 2011 Academy Awards. Um. Huh? This is a head scratcher for sure. I grew up in the era of Johnny Carson and Billy Crystal-- wonderful comics who could think on their feet and had a wry appreciation of the ridiculous. I have visions of painful, scripted banter and lots of awkward pauses with this particular duo. No disrespect intended to Anne or James, but how did we go from Carson to Hathaway and Franco? This is being sold as a show that's going for a "SNL vibe" but I feel like I'm being punked. Oh well. Another year I skip the awards. 
• When I look at the trailer for "The Green Lantern" I can't decide if I'm getting old or movies really are just sucking a whole lot more these days. (I'm old enough that I have to allow for the possibility that I am out-of-touch. *Sigh*)  I have nothing against Ryan Reynolds, so I don't think it's the casting that bothers me. I just can't get past the sarcastic form of irony that every semi-comedic script wants to include. How many times can someone say "I know! Right?" before it gets old? My 10-year-old says it all the time so I know it's about as cliché as saying something is the bomb. I just wish Hollywood would stop trying to make everything so cute. I now think that Robert Downey Jr. is the only one who should be allowed to play it funny and everyone else has to play it straight. Unless it's Nathan Fillion. 
• It's amazing that different countries can ostensibly speak the same language but have such different slang. While recently watching the whole series of Harry Potter movies I frequently found myself frowning in confusion over terms like "tosser" and "barmy." And I'm a little afraid of treacle tart-- after all, I know what they put into the blood pudding.  Are foreign viewers as confused when watching American movies? Or has Hollywood taught everyone to speak our language?
• Why aren't there any great, cheesy scifi/fantasy shows anymore? I want to see Lucy Lawless flipping through the air and hear Xena's ululation. I want to see men fight with swords and try to take each other's heads off to be the last immortal standing. Is that so wrong? No one seems to know how to do bad special effects in a good way anymore. 
• Whenever I read a really good review I feel slightly inadequate. Then I read a really pretentious attempt at intellectualizing on Amazon and feel all better. 
• It's strange how it needs to be Christmas time to really enjoy a Christmas movie. I suppose I could watch "Elf" anytime, but it isn't the same when it's 90 degrees outside. Plus it's hard to justify drinking spiked hot chocolate in the summer. No wonder we all resolve to lose weight for the new year. Or am I the only one who looks for a reason to spike everything with alcohol? Forget I asked. 
• R.I.P. Irvin Kershner